Mike Oxsaw
2:49 Wed May 15
Re: New Limerick Thread
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This well-endowed bird from Bude
Liked to go out in the nude.
Her minge hair got caught
In some shopping she'd bought
Which somewhat did darken her mood.
Now, Jimmy, from just down the lane,
Was a right little scrote - total pain.
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Hello Mrs. Jones
2:36 Wed May 15
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A smart city banker called Kit
Fell over after slipping on shit
It came from a beagle
Which caused the spreadeagle
and made him look a right tit
This well-endowed bird from Bude
Liked to go out in the nude
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Helmut Shown
1:29 Wed May 15
Re: New Limerick Thread
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I once met a really weird bloke
Who thought comedy should be woke.
David Badiel?
Him of the front wheel?
His comedy just ain't worth a poke
A smart city banker called Kit
Fell over after slipping on shit
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arsene york-hunt
12:04 Wed May 15
Re: New Limerick Thread
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When this mortal coil you depart
It s said that the dead still can fart
Done at one's leisure,
Your one final pleasure,
Then off to hell in a handcart.
I once met a really weird bloke
Who thought comedy should be woke.
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Helmut Shown
10:39 Tue May 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
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There was a man from Winnipeg
Whose knob hung halfway down his leg
It was tied with a strap
Just above his kneecap
Very sore when you kneel down and beg
When this mortal coil you depart
It s said that the dead still can fart
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arsene york-hunt
1:04 Tue May 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Her regular trips to the gym
Did result in a most sweaty quim
She scrubbed the thing well,
To get rid of the smell,
Using Fairy Liquid and Vim.
There was a man from Winnipeg
Whose knob hung halfway down his leg
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Hello Mrs. Jones
8:20 Tue May 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
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There once was a young man called Max.
Liked sniffing his bird's used Tampax.
He wasn’t discrete
About this monthly treat
Or his other despicable acts
Her regular trips to the gym
Did result in a most sweaty quim
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arsene york-hunt
2:41 Tue May 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
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I’ve just put a bird up the duff
Strange as I only fingered her chuff,
A paternity test,
DNA off my vest,
Will make my denials quite tough.
There once was a young man called Max.
Liked sniffing his bird's used Tampax.
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Hello Mrs. Jones
1:10 Tue May 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
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I went out once on a blind date
Fuck me! The tart was a state
But I fell for the joke
Cos the tart was a bloke
Called Charlie rather than Kate
I’ve just put a bird up the duff
Strange as I only fingered her chuff
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Mike Oxsaw
12:06 Tue May 14
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A man I once knew called Jack
Had hair all over his back.
But, up on his head,
Not one single shred,
No chance he could pass as a yak.
I went out once on a blind date
Fuck me! The tart was a state.
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Hello Mrs. Jones
5:21 Mon May 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Our ski instructor named Liszt,
Said I'm off out on the piste
But he hid in the trees
Took off both his ski
And quietly had one off the wrist
A man I once knew called Jack
Had hair all over his back
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arsene york-hunt
1:00 Mon May 13
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A Gooner from nearby Burnt Oak
Knows deep down that they’ll choke,
He behaves like they've won,
But when all's said and done,
He really is a strange bloke.
Our ski instructor named Liszt,
Said I'm off out on the piste.
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Hello Mrs. Jones
11:28 Sun May 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Some of these rhymes are quite rude,
And some are just fucking crude.
many are not
But I’ll just tell you what
I much prefer the ones that are lewd
A Gooner from nearby Burnt Oak
Knows deep down that they’ll choke
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arsene york-hunt
5:29 Sun May 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
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She knelt down then got on all fours
Said "Help yourself to my back doors."
To myself I linked 'er,
Via her anal sphincter,
Well you know, it's one of life's chores.
Some of these rhymes are quite rude,
And some are just fucking crude.
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Mike Oxsaw
3:48 Sun May 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
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I was thinking to go down the pub
But instead I'll click on Pornhub
The girls were so young,
So, just for some fun,
I gave my John Thomas a rub.
She knelt down then got on all fours
Said "Help yourself to my back doors."
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Hello Mrs. Jones
12:03 Sun May 12
Re: New Limerick Thread
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This morning I wasn't quite able
To get to the bog, lay a cable
Talking of turds
I like it when birds
Shit on a glass coffee table
I as thinking to go down the pub
But instead I'll click on Pornhub
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Mike Oxsaw
7:30 Sat May 11
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A feisty young girl from St Mawes
Would wear a short skirt and no drawers
A breeze from the west
Would lift up her vest
And prove her the queen of all whores.
This morning I wasn't quite able
To get to the bog, lay a cable.
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Helmut Shown
4:33 Sat May 11
Re: New Limerick Thread
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She was worse the wear from the booze,
Ugly with piercings and tattoos
It's quarter to two
What can you do?
Us beggars we can't choose
A feisty young girl from St Mawes
Would wear a short skirt and no drawers
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arsene york-hunt
2:29 Sat May 11
Re: New Limerick Thread
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I asked my wife for a quick nosh
She hit me - a real biff, bash, bosh.
With this bad injury
Ended in A & E.
When i met her I thought she was posh.
She was worse the wear from the booze,
Ugly with piercings and tattoos.
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Mike Oxsaw
11:48 Fri May 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
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There was a young girl from Ibiza,
Thought by most to be a prick teaser.
She'd give you, for free,
A bad STD
But only if you're a real geezer.
I asked my wife for a quick nosh
She hit me - a real biff, bash, bosh.
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arsene york-hunt
11:01 Fri May 10
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A footballer who came from Korea
Is a diving cheat, so I hear.
Fourrbees say: 'snot funny,
A fine man's our Sonny."
But that's just verbal diarrhoea.
There was a young girl from Ibiza,
Thought by most to be a prick teaser
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